Sunday, December 11, 2011

seeing souls in my kids

There have been moments in the lives of each of my kids where I felt like I could look into their eyes and see their souls.  I know that it was from this very connection that the idea of the "soul series" was born.  I swear that when I looked into the eyes of my infant son, I was looking into the eyes of someone I had known before.  It never felt like a "first" meeting with him.  As a toddler, he regularly walks over to me on his wobbly little legs, puts his face right in front of mine and looks into my eyes completely expressionless.  He looks so deep, as if his purpose is to search for my soul. This morning he did the same to my husband and it got my wheels turning around one of my plots. 

A young mother feeling that instant and unexplainable connection to her newborn.   Sweet simple moments filled with a stare so deep and so intent that it is virtually unbreakable.  These are the times that make one really believe in the spiritual world.  That feeling that you have known your baby for an eternity, that feeling that this tiny being really understands you, the feeling that there is a connection deeper than conceivable by the human mind.  These moments slowly giving way to life, to conscious smiles, to imitation and all the other simple joys that are a growing child.  Real life happens and covers those spiritual moments.   They are still there, of course, and always will be.  But they are now protected by the physic happenings that take place every day.  The things that we refer to as life.  These spiritual moments are never forgotten, simply overpowered by the physical demands of human life.

How useful is this paragraph?  We will see.  These are the thoughts that were on my mind as I watched a special moment between my tiny man and his daddy.  That is until my husband asked, "what's on your mind?  I can tell you're thinking about something"  He knows.  And so do I write.   My hope is to capture the moment so I can use the feeling as my plots develop.  I have tried repeatedly to capture these moments with a camera.  Impossible, because it is so much more.  It is not a physical moment.  The spiritual nature of the moment is broken the second the thought shifts to a physical one.  Interesting.

in the eyes of the beholder

Where to start? It’s been a little while…or has it been a long while? I have the world’s greatest reason to have been off the blog for a while. My baby made the long awaited leap into toddlerhood. It’s funny how everyone’s life changes when a little one starts to walk. Taking a break from trying to accomplish “other” things throughout the day so I could keep my little guy safe has reminded to me to take more moments to experience life through the eyes of my kiddos.

I am jumping back on the horse (the horse being this blog), but probably going to stick to short rides for a while. This first one actually started months ago when I decided to do a weekly wonder. Oh, how quickly that idea became a thing of the past. It was one of those “good concepts, bad execution” type of things where I thought I actually had time to fit 400,000 things into each day. The weekly wonders didn’t last long but the concept got me thinking more from the perspective of kids. My kids just love it when tractors drive by or work in the fields behind us. Truman had an automatic obsession for everything tractor so I decided to do a couple simple, quick paintings for his room. Little did I know that these quirky, basic paintings, would be such a huge hit with him. He literally screeches when he spots them from across the room. Squirmy diaper changes are no more when I give him these paintings to hold. He carries them around the house and pushes them across the room on his knees. I wrote these painting off as being too basic and not “perfect” enough to print or even post…. That is, until my son’s tiny perspective changed my mind.

Art is interesting in a sort of “beauty is in the eyes of the beholder” kind of a way. I have seen art impact my children thousands of times. My son’s love for these paintings made me realize that it doesn’t take perfection to grab a child’s attention. My kids aren’t searching for the perfect anything. They just like what they like for whatever reason that they like it. Do you like that sentence? Wow, that’s a lot of like. But that’s about the best way to put it, so I am leaving it. Anyway, I decided that before Truman destroys these toys paintings, I should capture them, post them and offer prints for sale. You never know, maybe, just maybe there is another tractor obsessed boy out there who might like what he sees!

pure joy!

Friday, December 9, 2011

soul series

Funny how when something is right, you just know it.  I have had the idea for my soul series for about a year...and it has always felt just right.  There are several fiction plots playing out in my head on a daily basis.  I know that I am meant to write these stories.  This belief has been unwavering.  That is until the "how do I get started?" and "how will I find the time?" doubts clouded my mind and brought me to a screeching halt.  My heart held on tightly to my ideas much like a mother cradling her newborn baby for the first time.  I always knew that when the time to take action was right, it would become instantly clear and I would write.  My moment of clarity came very unexpectedly.  This very morning.  In one of life's slow moments.  In that one moment, all was right in my mind and the action were clear.

Write a blog.  In re-thinking my thoughts from this morning, I still have no clue where this idea originated from.  I never, in a million years, would have purposely thought of this as a solution.  It's not even logical.  I am a busy mom of a three year old and a brand new toddler.  I am starting a new training program to run my second marathon, doing P90X with my husband and getting ready for the holidays.  I have a house to keep up, a husband to be happy with and a tiny business I created and am trying to get off the ground.  Oh, and did I mention that I already write a blog (barely) for my business.  It's been six weeks since I have found time to write an entry for my tiny by design blog.  Yet, during a moment on the couch with my young son, the clear answer came to me.  Write a blog.  We were gazing out over the front yard and looking at the snow.  It hit me. Logic is taking a back seat.  Write a blog...and it just feels right.

So here I am, watching my little girl eat her lunch, writing my first blog entry.  My plan is to tell two soul sisters:) I will probably tell three, as I have a hard time keeping surprises from my husband.  Kim Salter (author of Design Thoughts) and  Kristie Ignash (author of Just Being) and I were having one of those life altering conversations about spiritual being.  The conversation was a miracle in itself because Kristie lives in Texas, Kim in New York and I am in Michigan.  It is a rare occurrence that we are all in the same room at the same time.  We talked about so many important things that night and I decided to share the secret idea that I have been clinging too.  They were so confident and enthusiastic about the Soul Series that I felt myself growing more open to my own ideas.  I owe a lot to them for helping me be open to receiving the idea for this blog.  Anyone else who reads this, I believe, was attracted to this blog for a reason.  I welcome your thoughts, insight and presence.

There are a few purposes to writing this Soul Series blog.  The most important is to allow a platform for me to formulate my thoughts on my writing ideas.  It has become clear to me that I have held myself back on starting my stories because of limited knowledge.  I have my plots and I have my beliefs...doing some research and putting more knowledge in my head will help me find a jump off point.  I need a journal and I feel like this the perfect place to archive entries and keep track of my journey.  I also need to sharpen my writing skills,  build a writing portfolio and find my style.  What better forum than a blog?  I owe sincere gratitude to anyone who finds this and takes part in this journey!
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