Friday, March 9, 2012

running in the dark

"a test of reincarnation for a soul coming to earth is the conquering of fear in the human body"
- Michael Newton, PhD
Journey of Souls

If this statement is true, then my soul must have come to earth to get over a fear of the dark.  Or at least a fear of being outside in the dark.  I'm not sure if it was "Children of the Corn" that did it for me or the countless times we played the game "Bloody Murder" as kids.  (Seriously who named that game???)  Either way, I am a self proclaimed scaredy cat.  That's why, when I decided to do the two things I said I would never do, run a second marathon and train in the winter, I knew I must have lost my mind.  I got hit pretty hard by the addiction they call the marathon. So hard that I suddenly found myself willing to run in the dark.

First things first, I had to feel safe.  I decided that becoming a head to toe reflector should do the trick.  The reflective gear industry had record sales the day I ordered everything I could find.   Next, I decided that I wouldn't go without my over protective puppy dog (you now, the one who sprints at the sound of another dog barking).  So, I got back online and outfitted him in reflectors.  So, now we are visible.  Time to tackle some inner demons.

doesn't he look like he can't wait to be drug out of his nice warm bed out into the freezing cold?

Allow me to paint a picture for you.  I live in the country were it is dark.  Not neighborhood street lamp dark, but DARK DARK.  Many of the good people of the country have mercury lights, which help the cause.  However, sometimes there are several miles without houses and therefore, no mercury lights.  I don't know what it is about the dark, but my imagination completely runs away with me.  I could have sworn I saw an actual werewolf man running through the woods the other day (it was actually a stationary tree), and I just know Malachi is living out there somewhere.  We are, after all, surrounded by corn fields and they have to live somewhere, right? (Please tell me you have seen the worst horror movie of all time.  Otherwise I am just talking nonsense here).  Let's not forget about the road kill that appears in an instant, out of the darkness, often leaving little time to step around it. ooohy.

Malachi from "Children of the Corn"...scary, right?

So far, we have fear of werewolves and fear of Malachi.  Let's add to it the yipping of the coyotes in the air.  What if they are really, really hungry?  Oh, the horror of it all.  I know I am placing a lot on the shoulders of Vladdie, you know, protecting me from the werewolves, Malachi, the coyotes and all.  But in Vladdie I trust and off we go together to be swallowed by the darkness.

this is how I imagine I look after a run with a full moon

The first time out was a full moon.  LOVE the full moon - thank you God for turning on the lights and making the first time out easy!  My confidence grew and I started to realize that werewolves don't exist, Malachi is just a character in a movie and the coyotes are not habitual people eaters. I do love my logical brain when it decides to make an appearance. There is something so peaceful in the silence of the night.  Being a part of the dawn and the sunrise is nothing short of bliss.  Sure, there are still a few moments in the dark that I need to calm my mind. Deer crashing suddenly through the woods make me jump about a mile and cause Vladdie to break out in a sprint.  Also, for some reason, many people don't think it necessary to turn off their brights for a runner.  It's a tiny bit blinding and when I think I am maintaing a straight line, I am usually running off the road and into ditches.  Thanks, early morning drivers, for the cross country experience.

So now, just as sunrise is starting at a reasonable time, daylight savings is going to come along and push it back.  Oh well, I have learned to crave the peace of the morning.  I am so grateful for the silence, the alone time and the thinking that take place during these dark morning runs.  Having irrational fears also keep my mind busy so the runs fly by.  Besides, there is a sense of accomplishment about being up and productive before the kids wake for the day.  It's also one less thing to have to fit in when chaos takes over.  So, call me a vampire, but I am really starting to love (or maybe just kinda like) the dark.

my puppers, enjoying a run on our country roads in daylight

let's make it a fear conquering day,

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